Christmas tree hunting

The Saturday after Thanksgiving, Chase and I went looking for an authentic California Christmas tree. There are a ton of Christmas tree farms in California. Actually, I can't think of many things that can't be grown in CA with the beautiful and temperament weather year round. We traveled about 20 min south, in between San Jose and Santa Cruz to a farm we found online. As we were driving on this narrow road up the beautiful hills of northern California, we passed so many beautiful trees and even a vineyard. It was so nice!

We found the farm we were looking for and parked. This was obviously a small family-run business that had been growing these Christmas trees for years. A hand-painted sign told us that the trees cost $50, plus $3 for the netting...great, we only basically only carry cards these days (at least I do)! Luckily, Chase opened his wallet and found exactly $53 (how does that even happen?!)

Chase walked up to the one guy pointing people around, and asked him how things work. You should have seen Chase's face when the guy told him to grab a saw, find a tree, cut it down, and carry up front to get netted! But to Chase's credit, he grabbed that saw like a lumberjack and started off towards the trees!

         Finally we found a great tree, well, not really, but we liked the top half of the tree. We cut it down thinking it might not be as big as we wanted...then realized it was like 8ft tall, and fits in our apartment by a foot. All in all - we did something new and had fun with it! Had no idea people in CA get to cut down their own trees! Well,  we wouldn't know how AZ did it, the last two years we bought our trees at Lowe's...shh :)

Yes, Chase had to hold the tree while we drove. We did a good job at tying it on the top, but it shifted with the drive. It was never in any real danger...but I'm always one for a good photo op :)

The finished product

Oh yea- here's a video on me attempting to saw this thing down. Let's be real...this is a job for the husband.

a few pics of the apartment

For mostly my family, so they can see what our place looks like!

Main room 

View of main room when we walk in...not a very good pic due to the massive amount of light coming in from the windows!

View from back in the kitchen

Dining area + computer space + gallery wall

My gallery wall at night

View looking into kitchen from living room window

Our mini hallway and bookshelf. Bedroom right, bathroom left

Bedroom...need to finish my 3rd chevron piece so we can hang them..guhh

Bathroom across from bedroom.

End of tour! We have washer and dryer, they are in 2 double doors on the left as we walk in the door. Also there is some small storage we keep our christmas decorations, snowboarding gear, etc.

So now my parents know what our place looks like!

Home

Sometimes all it takes is a sunset, you know, to spark a memory.

Something to remind me of our "old home." Arizona. Phoenix, well, Scottsdale specifically. Where we embarked on the adventure of our marriage. Where we became family. The first place we called home.

Arizona is infamous for the most timeless and wonderful sunsets. I have pictures of several...but the one that sticks out the most, in my memory, was the last one I ever saw. June 29th 2012...as we were leaving Arizona, on our way to California. Who knows if we'll ever return.

Did I tell you I hated Arizona when I first arrived? My first memory of Phoenix was driving down the 17 in our unconditioned Budget truck. It was miserable as we went from temperament Flagstaff to sweltering Phoenix. I hated all the brown. Dead desert. Ugly. I yearned so deeply for the lush green that was Indiana. My home for all my life.

Funny how I came to love Arizona so dearly. Maybe because it was my first "home" outside of Indiana. It was a life Chase and I had created for ourselves, and we were self-sustainable (barely, in the beginning.) It's where we learned to leave and cleave to one another, where we learned to grow together. It's almost like we grew into adults together. I watched Chase grow from a college student to a husband who took command of the bills and made decisions worthy of any seasoned adult.

It's funny how a new foreign city can become your home. I'll remind myself of that if I ever get a little blue out in California.

Home is wherever Chase is :)

About Kirk.

Yesterday we received the full autopsy and toxicology report of Kirk's death. After the autopsy, we only knew that Kirk had some "heart changes" and that we were awaiting 4-6 weeks for the toxicology report to know the full story. Stories had surfaced that 911 was called about a "very drunk" person at the bar.

These reports were false. And frustrating.

Whereas Kirk was definitely losing consciousness in the bar, it was not due to alcohol (thanks for the inaccurate account, Sports Illustrated.) His BAC wasn't that high. It wasn't due to drugs either, unless you count tylenol, which he possibly took earlier in the day because he didn't feel so hot.

Kirk died due to a congenital heart defect called arrthymogenic right ventricular cardiomyopathy. He had a diseased heart. He had no idea.

Chase and I have heard accounts from friends that he wasn't feeling well earlier that day. This would make sense with the pathophysiology of this disease process. His heart was probably in and out of arrhythmias because his heart (namely his right ventricle) was on it's last string, and his cardiac output was low, so he wasn't getting as much oxygen to his vitals organs.

It's hard that no one called 911 until he was in full arrest. And it's probably because the bar employee that dragged him out assumed he was just drunk. But even if he was that drunk, 911 still should have been called immediately. We struggle with that fact. And I know his parents do too. We all like to think that if we had been there, the outcome would have been different.

But we weren't. And it wasn't.

We are thankful for the closure in knowing how Kirk died. We know it was natural. We are thankful that it was organic and not from one bad decision.

We have peace knowing that the Lord ordained all his days. But it still hurts. We still think about the "what ifs" and "how comes." And we still miss that handsome smile. With God's grace, slowly we will stop thinking about the "what ifs" and the "how comes."

But I think we will always miss that handsome smile:)

Little update on the Macs

As we are still adjusting to life in California, I just wanted to give a little update!

I have started a travel nursing position with Stanford on the Neurosurgery Unit, which means I have a 3 month contract with them. I'm pretty pumped to be able to get in at Stanford to see what it's all about without making a long term commitment yet. So far (just two days of orientation), I am in love! I think my unit is going to be fun and challenging. It is a higher acuity neurosurgery floor that includes a six bed progressive care unit. My first day on the floor is this Tuesday. Let the good times roll!

Chase and I have found a home church called Garden City Church. The pastor, Justin, just concluded a six week sermon series through the book of Jonah. It was life-changing stuff. Just absolutely unreal. Really encouraged us to take a good hard look at ourselves and our mission. We found a neighborhood group through this church and we meet with them every Tuesday. Great people, really honest, and we get to share a lot of laughs (and some tears.)

Chase continues to get a lot of great feedback from the guys who work for him. We are so grateful for their favor towards Chase. He works his butt off at work and tries to maintain a joyful attitude, which, as we ALL know, this can be super difficult with any job. He really loves his guys.

We continue to grieve Kirk's death. We think about him and his family every day. Several times a day. Our hearts ache for their loss, and for the heavy burden they carry, and for the intense loneliness we know they feel. We pray for their comfort and peace. We acknowledge that they will never get over the loss of their son, but with God's grace and provision, they will get through one day at a time. Please lift them up in prayer with us. Their names are Michael, Sandy, and his brother Kyle.

blindly navigating through bereavement

Tomorrow we travel to Chicago for the funeral services of Chase's dear friend, Kirk Urso.  How heartbreaking and devastating to bury a young friend. Twenty Two. Why we got to see our 23rd, 24th, 25th birthdays and Kirk did not, we'll never know. Profound sadness seeps into the deepest marrow of our bones.

Chase has the richest memories of Kirk. The ones with deep joy. The late night talks about life, faith, the future, the past. The hard moments where sin was confessed and sanctification prayed for. The fun moments when Kirk taught Chase to kick a soccer ball, and Chase helped Kirk with his golf game, and together when they dominated in pick-up basketball. The hilarious moments when Kirk used his faux British accent to whisper-narrate Chase's golf tournament in a homemade video as he and Daniel walked with Chase between holes.

Kirk stood by Chase's side when he promised his life and himself to me. And at the reception, Kirk was on the dance floor, celebrating all night.

You can google Kirk and see his public achievements.  But, oh, was he so much more. 

Chase has said the closest fellowship he's ever had was when he lived at 1111 Franklin Street at UNC with Kirk and the boys. He will be reunited with the latter, together for the first time since our wedding as they say goodbye to their brother.

We will keep you in our hearts forever, Kirk.

"In this world, you will have trouble,

But take heart! I have overcome the world." 

John 16:33

TORCH!

Eighteen miles long and 2.5 miles wide of beautiful deep blue, turquoise, and green crystal clear water. Yes. Please. Plus an unusually warm summer = unusually warm water. This was a bomb awesome year at Torch Lake. The weather was unbelievable. Usually being that far north in Michigan we get a few days of clouds and possibly some rain and in general chillier weather at night. Not this year. It was fantastic!

 I hadn't been to Torch Lake since summer of 2009, right after Chase and I got engaged. He came along too. Stephanie also brought Spencer (then boyfriend, now husband). Along with Tim and Patrick plus of course my parents, it was a great time, particularly watching Spencer flip his wakeboard over a skiier. Confused? See pic below:

Patrick being super chill

Flash forward to Torch Lake 2012. While it was just me and Patrick that could make the trip this year, it was worth it. Let's talk about how different it was for this second child in the line-up (out of 5) to have a week of individualized time just with my parents (plus one brother). Patrick is super easy going, so whenever my parents asked us what we wanted to do for the day, he said he'd do whatever I wanted to do. At first, I just played that back on him, saying I'll do whatever he wants to do. But then I made a suggestion...and (omg) that's what we ended up doing! What is this? I am used to 5 kids haggling and attempting to compromise, and then either majority rules or my parents have to step in and mediate. This is weird. Not in a bad way, just different. So I soaked up as much special time with my mom and dad and even just Patrick and me (soccer tennis, scrabble, boardwalks, tubing, swimming) as I could!

Hanging in the bow of our boat

The view from our porch

Yea...my mom can still slalom ski extremely well. 

My dad can still ski...well, he can just still ski.

Patrick being a skiing fiend

Gorgeous lake. Gorgeous sky.

The view from the kitchen, through the living room, over the porch. 

At the sandbar

At the dockside with mom and dad

From AZ to CA

We have arrived! Actually, we arrived 2 weeks ago. But I am just now getting around to posting. Why? Because I was at Torch Lake for a week! (more on that later)

Chase and I made the drive from Phoenix to San Jose at the end of June. It was absolutely exhausting to pack up our entire apartment, partly because we underestimated the time it would take, and partly because, ahem, my husband, whom I love dearly, decided to work a FULL work week. I told him he was crazy, but didn't push it. Well, when the week of the move came around and it was just me, who just happened to schedule my last day of work a week before the move, I was packing like crazy by myself. I have to give Chase way more credit though. He worked full days and then came home and packed until 11-midnight almost every night. Which was probably way harder than what I did.

Chase and his long lost friend

Luckily we were 97% packed when the movers arrived at noon on Friday. These young men did all the heavy lifting for us! And you know it wasn't easy carrying all those boxes and furniture down 3 flights of stairs in 110 degree heat.

Our empty apt at the Desert Club

Chase drove the U-Haul with the attached car carrier and I drove chase's car. I definitely got the better end of the deal. We drove separately because he had to drive much slower. He gave himself a 2.5 hour head start as we left Palm Springs. Also, I stopped way more than him - I was drinking lots of fluids, ok!?

Here we go!

Last gorgeous Arizona sunset

Welcome to California farmland?

We arrived at the U-Haul in San Jose at the exact same time. Actually, I won. I was behind Chase the entire time until I saw him attempting to make a left turn into U-Haul and I was coming from the opposite direction and swooped in with a right hand turn for the win. Literally a photo finish. He was NOT happy that he lost so unexpectedly at the last second.

Look at the clouds overtaking the mountains! They hang so low, it was gorgeous. 

One thing we love, although we have yet to take advantage of, is the herbs that grow in the courtyard of our building. There is rosemary, oregano, basil, mint, parsley, thyme, and cilantro. You can see the rosemary is dominating the picture...I think I see some rosemary and garlic chicken in our future!

The courtyard at the Elements

Our apartment is great. We were a wee bit nervous because this was the first time we were seeing the place if you remember here. And we were not disappointed. Huge windows from floor to ceiling that let in an incredible amount of light, tons of space with an enormous living room and bathroom (like the bathroom is a little too big). Yes, we are paying double what we were in Phoenix (really it was Scottsdale), BUT the typical apartment for what we are paying in a 20 mile radius is about 200 sq. ft smaller, not near as new appliances, worse apt. layouts, less convenient location, and in general, just way way less nice. The staff at the Elements Apartments enjoys reiterating to us just how fantastic of a deal we got. Like when we moved in. He just kept telling us. OK...we get it. Thank you Jesus.

A special shot of our lovely new (HUGE) couch!

Leaving more than just a city.

Tomorrow is my last day on 6east at Scottsdale Osborn. Or Ozy, as I sometimes affectionately refer to it.

And I am dreading it.

It was a rough start for me in December of 2010. I had been out of nursing for 6 months. And before that I had only been a nurse for 5 months. So I was essentially a clueless new grad with a lot of learned protocols and policies from another hospital that needed to be unlearned. Let's just say I had a long orientation.

But after my orientation I hit the ground running. I was so excited to be free to practice by myself again. I allowed other nurses and doctors to pour knowledge into me. I bought books to study and then apply in my practice.

More than just loving nursing and our patient population on 6east, I grew to love my co-workers and the culture of our floor. We work hard and laugh harder. The stress from the acuity of our patients is off-set by the ease of our demeanor. We talk, we joke, and yes, we even play pranks on each other. Usually involving saline. Sometimes involving stool softeners. But more importantly, we push each other in our practices to provide the best care to our patients while pursing knowledge and education.

So with a pit in my stomach, I have to say goodbye tomorrow, to never return. In my heart, I feel this floor is irreplaceable. The logic in my head slaps that notion in the face. I'll never work on another floor like this one, but I will find one with it's own personality, and I'll inevitably adapt.

Please bear with me as I take a stroll down memory lane.

contact + droplet isolation

A vodka a day to keep the DTs away!

Dust storm. There is a mountain behind that building.

Veil bed. Kind of like a fort.

Ok who did this to my apple? And is the chocolate safe to eat? who cares!

That one time my mean and delirious patient incredible hulked his CTO brace off. This was his 2nd one. And he has an unstable low cervical fracture. This is my life.

You can bring your dirty bibbed kitty to the hospital. But I might want a novelty pic with it.

Thank you dietary for sending water to this patient who clearly has a dysphagia diet with specific instructions not to send water. That does not mean cross it out and send a bottle of water. Luckily the RN confiscated it before this patient aspirated the entire thing.

All the charts in the rack...whoa!

Leech therapy, baby. Time to face the fear.

Remember that one time I threw a torilla chip at you and you lost jenga? Oops.

Creepy but sweet birthday flowers from Aaron, even though he was just trying to one-up the candy that Henna bought me for my birthday.

Best RN case manager. EVER.

Dare you to try a shot of Mag Citrate.

Love coming back to my desk.

The boys let me chart at "Man Island" for my birthday.

Crazy social workers.

My goodbye night out!

Mike would only allow his picture to be taken like this.

Surgical cap gifted to me from the scary trauma surgeon. I knew I would win him over!